Well,I have officially started the homeschooling.It is scary and hard and easy and exilirating all at the same time.I am doing better than I thought I would.The kids are too.They wake up every morning LOOKING for work to be done!That is amazing to me.I had to threaten restriction to get homework done when they were in school.And they have all picked right up on their reading,I love it.
The only down side is our air conditioner has gone out for the second time this summer,and it is a brand new unit.My landlord just bought it brand new last June,but at least we are still renting.I am hoping to be able to start talking about buying this home by Christmas.It is something we have wanted since we moved in,but I think E(my landlord) needed to make some of his money back in rent before he talked about selling it.We have paid him enough rent to have paid him what he bought this for(we know how much he paid for it)so anything he sells it to us for will be strictly profit.That is at least what I hope he says.We are waiting until Christmas for that very reason.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I Keep Forgetting I Have A Blog
ROFL Seriously I just read others and go about my life.I keep forgetting to post.Oh,well.It is for me anyway,so what does it matter?Well,I do want to be able to look back and tell what was going on at this point in my life.That is why I started writing.
Anyway,I am going on a vacation!I am going to spend some girl time with my mom and the youngest sister,Nat.i need to get away from everything soon,or I will run away forever.That is of course an exaggeration.But I am completely burned out.Nobody does anything around here except me.And then I get told that NOTHING around here gets done.Well,we will see how much I really do when they are the ones who have to do it.I am tired,down to my bones.I hope this time away will make them appreciate me more,but that is not the only reason I am going by any stretch of the imagination.I need to be Tonya,if I can remember who she is.I want to appreciate my family more too.Being away from them,missing them,hopefully will get my mind right again.
I used to love my "job".But now I don't even want to get up in the morning.It is not all them,or all me.It is a combination of things.ALOT of it is this place.I have never been as happy as I was in Ohio.I absolutely do not want to move back,but I need to remember what I loved about it so much that I can somehow bring into this house and this place.I do not know how or even if it is possible.But I can not think of anything about where I live,other than the home itself,that I can stand,much less like.I know I have found fault with everywhere but Columbus.I did not like Georgia,or Bluffton,and I don't like it here.This time away is going to be asoul searching time.
Of course,W does not want me to go.He keeps trying to lay a guilt trip about going anywhere "right ow",of course anytime I go will be a "right now" kind of time.He says he is having trouble with the truck(what could I do about that) and the kids will be out for summer most of the time I am gone(they get out of school 2 days after I leave)and how is he supposed to watch them,um tell your 15 year old daughter to act like she has some sense.The kids CAN be left alone,we just have to lock down all snacks in our room.But she does know how to babysit.
I know he is not comfortable leaving them alone all day.I think this is part of what I am trying to make them understand.I am a person,not the robotic babysitter,housecleaner,meal cooker,etc,etc, etc.I have feelings like all of them do.I am not asking for grand gestures or anything,just some respect.To not be yelled back at,to do as I ask the third time I ask(at least),to love me.
Anyway,I am going on a vacation!I am going to spend some girl time with my mom and the youngest sister,Nat.i need to get away from everything soon,or I will run away forever.That is of course an exaggeration.But I am completely burned out.Nobody does anything around here except me.And then I get told that NOTHING around here gets done.Well,we will see how much I really do when they are the ones who have to do it.I am tired,down to my bones.I hope this time away will make them appreciate me more,but that is not the only reason I am going by any stretch of the imagination.I need to be Tonya,if I can remember who she is.I want to appreciate my family more too.Being away from them,missing them,hopefully will get my mind right again.
I used to love my "job".But now I don't even want to get up in the morning.It is not all them,or all me.It is a combination of things.ALOT of it is this place.I have never been as happy as I was in Ohio.I absolutely do not want to move back,but I need to remember what I loved about it so much that I can somehow bring into this house and this place.I do not know how or even if it is possible.But I can not think of anything about where I live,other than the home itself,that I can stand,much less like.I know I have found fault with everywhere but Columbus.I did not like Georgia,or Bluffton,and I don't like it here.This time away is going to be asoul searching time.
Of course,W does not want me to go.He keeps trying to lay a guilt trip about going anywhere "right ow",of course anytime I go will be a "right now" kind of time.He says he is having trouble with the truck(what could I do about that) and the kids will be out for summer most of the time I am gone(they get out of school 2 days after I leave)and how is he supposed to watch them,um tell your 15 year old daughter to act like she has some sense.The kids CAN be left alone,we just have to lock down all snacks in our room.But she does know how to babysit.
I know he is not comfortable leaving them alone all day.I think this is part of what I am trying to make them understand.I am a person,not the robotic babysitter,housecleaner,meal cooker,etc,etc, etc.I have feelings like all of them do.I am not asking for grand gestures or anything,just some respect.To not be yelled back at,to do as I ask the third time I ask(at least),to love me.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Whoo!
Hubby and I have been discussing at great length homeschooling.I have finally gotten the okay to keep them home next school year.I am excited and scared and happy and nervous all at the same time.I need to start getting the curriculum together,and making my schedules.Wow,the younger three are happy.Of course,A is not happy.She wants to go to high school,but she may not be in high school next year anyway,the way her grades are.Tyler is going to repeat the 7 grade material(the stuff HE did in 7 grade)just to be sure he got it all.His grades are all failing or thisclose to it,and his teachers are telling me he can still pass if he brings them all up to low A/high B.Well,if he was going to do that,he would have already.And I do not want him to pass grade wise and know nothing,ya know.
I am extemely worried about socialization,I know most people make it work.But we have those special circumstances of mine to deal with.I will keep thinking to see what I can work out.God will show us the way,I know it.I am sssooo excited.I have joined a homeschool yahoo group,and that just made it seem so real.I have also told some of the teachers at the middle school,so it is really happening:)
I think I am going to try to work the geneology in like a class,at least for the older ones.I think they will enjoy it.They are right in the middle of everything when I am trying to do it myself:)That will be a good extra at least.
Well,gotta go for now.
I am extemely worried about socialization,I know most people make it work.But we have those special circumstances of mine to deal with.I will keep thinking to see what I can work out.God will show us the way,I know it.I am sssooo excited.I have joined a homeschool yahoo group,and that just made it seem so real.I have also told some of the teachers at the middle school,so it is really happening:)
I think I am going to try to work the geneology in like a class,at least for the older ones.I think they will enjoy it.They are right in the middle of everything when I am trying to do it myself:)That will be a good extra at least.
Well,gotta go for now.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Decisions Decisions
I am in a much better mood now.
I have been "thinking" about homeschooling the crew for almost 2 years.I actually had A out of school last year and we were doing good,then we had an immediate need to move and she ended up back in public school this year.She is the one I am mostly having trouble with.My dear hubby is only concerned that I won't be able to handle all the kids home all the time.They are not the best at listening to directions NOW,how will I possibly get them to listen to do school work on top of the chores they don't do,the times they talk back,etc?
I have tried to explain to him that I firmly believe that a part of (not all of it I am not delusional) comes from the kids and unfortunately some of the adults they come into contact with every day.I really think they will be getting better when they get home full time.That is what happened when I brought A home last year.It was not overnight,but she liked the things like us being on our own schedule and picking out her own "extra" classes.Her grades went from straight Fs to As and Bs.I don't think I have to say this but no I was "giving" her any "help".That is the attitude I get when I tell people about the turn around with her grades last year.They don't believe it.
This has been wieghing on my heart for so long.But of course I am scared too.I have 3 with special needs,and they all have IEPs and I absolutely do not want to take them out and do it myself unless I KNOW I can do it right.
We also have a unique situation with my personal disability.I am legally blind,I can not drive a car,and my hubby has to work all the time.So I am more concerned with "socialization" than most.I also won't be able to do field trips all the time,things of that nature.These things keep me from taking the plunge,but I read other blogs and have talked to other homeschool moms,and my heart just aches to have them home full time.There has to be a way.
I have been "thinking" about homeschooling the crew for almost 2 years.I actually had A out of school last year and we were doing good,then we had an immediate need to move and she ended up back in public school this year.She is the one I am mostly having trouble with.My dear hubby is only concerned that I won't be able to handle all the kids home all the time.They are not the best at listening to directions NOW,how will I possibly get them to listen to do school work on top of the chores they don't do,the times they talk back,etc?
I have tried to explain to him that I firmly believe that a part of (not all of it I am not delusional) comes from the kids and unfortunately some of the adults they come into contact with every day.I really think they will be getting better when they get home full time.That is what happened when I brought A home last year.It was not overnight,but she liked the things like us being on our own schedule and picking out her own "extra" classes.Her grades went from straight Fs to As and Bs.I don't think I have to say this but no I was "giving" her any "help".That is the attitude I get when I tell people about the turn around with her grades last year.They don't believe it.
This has been wieghing on my heart for so long.But of course I am scared too.I have 3 with special needs,and they all have IEPs and I absolutely do not want to take them out and do it myself unless I KNOW I can do it right.
We also have a unique situation with my personal disability.I am legally blind,I can not drive a car,and my hubby has to work all the time.So I am more concerned with "socialization" than most.I also won't be able to do field trips all the time,things of that nature.These things keep me from taking the plunge,but I read other blogs and have talked to other homeschool moms,and my heart just aches to have them home full time.There has to be a way.
Frustrated
My husband works for our landlord as a maintenance man.That is not the frustrating part,lol.He never puts our house on his "list" of things that need to get done,the landlord or my husband.They both act like this house does not belong to E(the landlord),except when it is time to pay the rent of course.It is not like we get a discount on rent or like he gets paid some decent salary.Neither is true.
We need screens in this house like from day one(in July of last year) and never in all the months we have lived here,has even 1 screen been thought of.For the outrageous rent I am paying,I should be getting gold faucets,not treated like a 3rd class citizen.Hubby seems to think that he is supposed to tell E what materials he needs,and hubby does the work on the weekends.Never mind that we don't get any time together,family or otherwise,all week.On top of that,he is supposed to "work" on the weekends too?Technically,this is one of his properties,and no we did not agree to this when we moved in here.
We originally lived in another property of his,smaller and less rent of course,and never got this type of treatment.Our lawn care was even taken care of there.Here we cut our own grass,not a big deal.But there are problems with this place that have been this way since we moved in and I see no end in sight.I have brought up once buying this place from him,for a number of reasons that would be the best solution.He said not to count that out,but that was a couple of months ago.I would not mind doing these things on the weekends if it belonged to us,ya know.But if I am paying rent,shouldn't my landlord be responsible for the maintenace?
Sorry for the rant,just had to get that off my chest.Maybe now hubby and I will quit arguing about this all the time.(Yeah right)
We need screens in this house like from day one(in July of last year) and never in all the months we have lived here,has even 1 screen been thought of.For the outrageous rent I am paying,I should be getting gold faucets,not treated like a 3rd class citizen.Hubby seems to think that he is supposed to tell E what materials he needs,and hubby does the work on the weekends.Never mind that we don't get any time together,family or otherwise,all week.On top of that,he is supposed to "work" on the weekends too?Technically,this is one of his properties,and no we did not agree to this when we moved in here.
We originally lived in another property of his,smaller and less rent of course,and never got this type of treatment.Our lawn care was even taken care of there.Here we cut our own grass,not a big deal.But there are problems with this place that have been this way since we moved in and I see no end in sight.I have brought up once buying this place from him,for a number of reasons that would be the best solution.He said not to count that out,but that was a couple of months ago.I would not mind doing these things on the weekends if it belonged to us,ya know.But if I am paying rent,shouldn't my landlord be responsible for the maintenace?
Sorry for the rant,just had to get that off my chest.Maybe now hubby and I will quit arguing about this all the time.(Yeah right)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Geneology
I have been trying to put together a family tree for my husband for his birthday.I know it only about 8 months away,but I knew this would be a huge undertaking.So I started this whole thing about a week ago.You see,his father was an orphan and he is dead.So is my mother in law.So my hubby only has 1 uncle and his wife,1 brother(that is a story in itself),and the kids and me.I really want to be able to do something for him that he would appreciate.He loves history of any kind,so this will be something that he will absolutely love.
I am driving myself insane,though.I had no idea that it was going to be so time consuming getting names and dates for everyone.I have done my side of the family more or less,from memory.His side is kinda difficult though.Hubby's father did not ever want to talk about his parents,of course.It was painful.His mother dropped him off at the tender age of 12 at an orphange.His father was never around.I did get him to tell me once what their names are,which I did not know would hurt 1 so much.I thought I was doing a good thing.Little did I know that he had asked his father that very same thing several times in the past.only to be rebuffed.
Well,I am going back on the trail of mysterious names and dates,lol.
I am driving myself insane,though.I had no idea that it was going to be so time consuming getting names and dates for everyone.I have done my side of the family more or less,from memory.His side is kinda difficult though.Hubby's father did not ever want to talk about his parents,of course.It was painful.His mother dropped him off at the tender age of 12 at an orphange.His father was never around.I did get him to tell me once what their names are,which I did not know would hurt 1 so much.I thought I was doing a good thing.Little did I know that he had asked his father that very same thing several times in the past.only to be rebuffed.
Well,I am going back on the trail of mysterious names and dates,lol.
A New Adventure
Well,here it is. My first entry into the blog world.Actually that is not true.I tried this once before,but it just made me feel self conscious(sp) so I quit.Oh well,don't they say if at first you don't succeed....Well,here I am trying again.I know that this will probably only be a journal for myself,so that is why I am willing to try again.
I have four amazing but taxing children.I don't mean that in any sort of bad way,I would lay down my life for them.I just have not always been the best disciplinarian and am paying for it now.There are things I gave in to at younger ages that now I look back on with that eureka moment(oh that is why my mom told me to stand firm and not give in to her tamtrum).I always thought I was being "too mean"or not showing how much I loved them.So I would back down,boy did I have it backwards or what?Well,I have been trying to make some changes for about the last year or two.I can honestly say,some I see happening and some are not.Maybe it is too late for some those changes to be accepted,especially for my oldest daughter.
I can honestly say that I have a better chance with the younger kids,they are not as "set in their ways" and are more willing to learn.My older 2 think they are ready to "make their own decisions".I really feel I have failed them,and then in the next breath,I know I am not ready to give up just yet.They are "mine"(follow house rules,live here,etc)unitl they turn 18.All I can do is keep praying and keep on keeping on.
I have four amazing but taxing children.I don't mean that in any sort of bad way,I would lay down my life for them.I just have not always been the best disciplinarian and am paying for it now.There are things I gave in to at younger ages that now I look back on with that eureka moment(oh that is why my mom told me to stand firm and not give in to her tamtrum).I always thought I was being "too mean"or not showing how much I loved them.So I would back down,boy did I have it backwards or what?Well,I have been trying to make some changes for about the last year or two.I can honestly say,some I see happening and some are not.Maybe it is too late for some those changes to be accepted,especially for my oldest daughter.
I can honestly say that I have a better chance with the younger kids,they are not as "set in their ways" and are more willing to learn.My older 2 think they are ready to "make their own decisions".I really feel I have failed them,and then in the next breath,I know I am not ready to give up just yet.They are "mine"(follow house rules,live here,etc)unitl they turn 18.All I can do is keep praying and keep on keeping on.
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