A New Adventure

Well,here it is. My first entry into the blog world.Actually that is not true.I tried this once before,but it just made me feel self conscious(sp) so I quit.Oh well,don't they say if at first you don't succeed....Well,here I am trying again.I know that this will probably only be a journal for myself,so that is why I am willing to try again.
I have four amazing but taxing children.I don't mean that in any sort of bad way,I would lay down my life for them.I just have not always been the best disciplinarian and am paying for it now.There are things I gave in to at younger ages that now I look back on with that eureka moment(oh that is why my mom told me to stand firm and not give in to her tamtrum).I always thought I was being "too mean"or not showing how much I loved them.So I would back down,boy did I have it backwards or what?Well,I have been trying to make some changes for about the last year or two.I can honestly say,some I see happening and some are not.Maybe it is too late for some those changes to be accepted,especially for my oldest daughter.
I can honestly say that I have a better chance with the younger kids,they are not as "set in their ways" and are more willing to learn.My older 2 think they are ready to "make their own decisions".I really feel I have failed them,and then in the next breath,I know I am not ready to give up just yet.They are "mine"(follow house rules,live here,etc)unitl they turn 18.All I can do is keep praying and keep on keeping on.