Wow!

I had no idea that it had been THAT long since I snuck in here,lol:)I have been doing the homeschool thing(loving it)and the kids are still doing good.I think we are going to stick with it throughout the rest of our schooling(provided it does not become illegal).I am so upset about that poor woman who is being forced to send her kids back to school:(I have discussed this at length with my loving hubby,and we have agreed(again)that this is what is best for our children.I just wanted to give him the options again.I know I would keep going full steam ahead and never look back.But he was hesitant in the beginning.Thank God he has seen the improvements in our kids,not just grades(although that has come been great),but their attitudes have improved tremendously!They are still no angels,ahem,but they have so much better attitudes towards each other and my husband and myself.T goes looking for things he can do around the house to make my life easier.A knows she has to do what she is told before she gets what she wants(trust me this was a huge issue for us while she was in school and around all the "other" kids).H is still our angel,but she is starting to come out of her shell.She has always been shy,and that is not as bad as it was before.W is still trying to be "the baby"but is starting to understand too that if you want x,you have to do y.I am loving having them home.
A is getting serious about her boyfriend.Scary territory for me and her father.But we are hopeful that they think before they act and we "talk to death" the whole purity until marriage,as she puts it.C(as he will be known here)is a good kid.We respect his family.He is going to be an adult in a few months though.And that worries us,A is only/already 16.I have just come to understand some of the things I am trying to teach her in the last few years.How can I get her to understand what it took me so long to learn?All I can do is trust in God that he will open her ears and her heart to hear the words I am saying.She is very smart and loves her family,but is so impatient.
I am so happy they are all here at home,where we can deal with the issues they each have(if you ask me,some of these things started BECAUSE of the schools)and show them the way.I hated when they were at school and am so happy to be able to teach them what I know to be right.I thank God for the priveledge every day.

Here I Am Again

Well,I have officially started the homeschooling.It is scary and hard and easy and exilirating all at the same time.I am doing better than I thought I would.The kids are too.They wake up every morning LOOKING for work to be done!That is amazing to me.I had to threaten restriction to get homework done when they were in school.And they have all picked right up on their reading,I love it.

The only down side is our air conditioner has gone out for the second time this summer,and it is a brand new unit.My landlord just bought it brand new last June,but at least we are still renting.I am hoping to be able to start talking about buying this home by Christmas.It is something we have wanted since we moved in,but I think E(my landlord) needed to make some of his money back in rent before he talked about selling it.We have paid him enough rent to have paid him what he bought this for(we know how much he paid for it)so anything he sells it to us for will be strictly profit.That is at least what I hope he says.We are waiting until Christmas for that very reason.

I Keep Forgetting I Have A Blog

ROFL Seriously I just read others and go about my life.I keep forgetting to post.Oh,well.It is for me anyway,so what does it matter?Well,I do want to be able to look back and tell what was going on at this point in my life.That is why I started writing.
Anyway,I am going on a vacation!I am going to spend some girl time with my mom and the youngest sister,Nat.i need to get away from everything soon,or I will run away forever.That is of course an exaggeration.But I am completely burned out.Nobody does anything around here except me.And then I get told that NOTHING around here gets done.Well,we will see how much I really do when they are the ones who have to do it.I am tired,down to my bones.I hope this time away will make them appreciate me more,but that is not the only reason I am going by any stretch of the imagination.I need to be Tonya,if I can remember who she is.I want to appreciate my family more too.Being away from them,missing them,hopefully will get my mind right again.
I used to love my "job".But now I don't even want to get up in the morning.It is not all them,or all me.It is a combination of things.ALOT of it is this place.I have never been as happy as I was in Ohio.I absolutely do not want to move back,but I need to remember what I loved about it so much that I can somehow bring into this house and this place.I do not know how or even if it is possible.But I can not think of anything about where I live,other than the home itself,that I can stand,much less like.I know I have found fault with everywhere but Columbus.I did not like Georgia,or Bluffton,and I don't like it here.This time away is going to be asoul searching time.
Of course,W does not want me to go.He keeps trying to lay a guilt trip about going anywhere "right ow",of course anytime I go will be a "right now" kind of time.He says he is having trouble with the truck(what could I do about that) and the kids will be out for summer most of the time I am gone(they get out of school 2 days after I leave)and how is he supposed to watch them,um tell your 15 year old daughter to act like she has some sense.The kids CAN be left alone,we just have to lock down all snacks in our room.But she does know how to babysit.
I know he is not comfortable leaving them alone all day.I think this is part of what I am trying to make them understand.I am a person,not the robotic babysitter,housecleaner,meal cooker,etc,etc, etc.I have feelings like all of them do.I am not asking for grand gestures or anything,just some respect.To not be yelled back at,to do as I ask the third time I ask(at least),to love me.

Whoo!

Hubby and I have been discussing at great length homeschooling.I have finally gotten the okay to keep them home next school year.I am excited and scared and happy and nervous all at the same time.I need to start getting the curriculum together,and making my schedules.Wow,the younger three are happy.Of course,A is not happy.She wants to go to high school,but she may not be in high school next year anyway,the way her grades are.Tyler is going to repeat the 7 grade material(the stuff HE did in 7 grade)just to be sure he got it all.His grades are all failing or thisclose to it,and his teachers are telling me he can still pass if he brings them all up to low A/high B.Well,if he was going to do that,he would have already.And I do not want him to pass grade wise and know nothing,ya know.
I am extemely worried about socialization,I know most people make it work.But we have those special circumstances of mine to deal with.I will keep thinking to see what I can work out.God will show us the way,I know it.I am sssooo excited.I have joined a homeschool yahoo group,and that just made it seem so real.I have also told some of the teachers at the middle school,so it is really happening:)
I think I am going to try to work the geneology in like a class,at least for the older ones.I think they will enjoy it.They are right in the middle of everything when I am trying to do it myself:)That will be a good extra at least.
Well,gotta go for now.

Decisions Decisions

I am in a much better mood now.
I have been "thinking" about homeschooling the crew for almost 2 years.I actually had A out of school last year and we were doing good,then we had an immediate need to move and she ended up back in public school this year.She is the one I am mostly having trouble with.My dear hubby is only concerned that I won't be able to handle all the kids home all the time.They are not the best at listening to directions NOW,how will I possibly get them to listen to do school work on top of the chores they don't do,the times they talk back,etc?
I have tried to explain to him that I firmly believe that a part of (not all of it I am not delusional) comes from the kids and unfortunately some of the adults they come into contact with every day.I really think they will be getting better when they get home full time.That is what happened when I brought A home last year.It was not overnight,but she liked the things like us being on our own schedule and picking out her own "extra" classes.Her grades went from straight Fs to As and Bs.I don't think I have to say this but no I was "giving" her any "help".That is the attitude I get when I tell people about the turn around with her grades last year.They don't believe it.
This has been wieghing on my heart for so long.But of course I am scared too.I have 3 with special needs,and they all have IEPs and I absolutely do not want to take them out and do it myself unless I KNOW I can do it right.
We also have a unique situation with my personal disability.I am legally blind,I can not drive a car,and my hubby has to work all the time.So I am more concerned with "socialization" than most.I also won't be able to do field trips all the time,things of that nature.These things keep me from taking the plunge,but I read other blogs and have talked to other homeschool moms,and my heart just aches to have them home full time.There has to be a way.

Frustrated

My husband works for our landlord as a maintenance man.That is not the frustrating part,lol.He never puts our house on his "list" of things that need to get done,the landlord or my husband.They both act like this house does not belong to E(the landlord),except when it is time to pay the rent of course.It is not like we get a discount on rent or like he gets paid some decent salary.Neither is true.
We need screens in this house like from day one(in July of last year) and never in all the months we have lived here,has even 1 screen been thought of.For the outrageous rent I am paying,I should be getting gold faucets,not treated like a 3rd class citizen.Hubby seems to think that he is supposed to tell E what materials he needs,and hubby does the work on the weekends.Never mind that we don't get any time together,family or otherwise,all week.On top of that,he is supposed to "work" on the weekends too?Technically,this is one of his properties,and no we did not agree to this when we moved in here.
We originally lived in another property of his,smaller and less rent of course,and never got this type of treatment.Our lawn care was even taken care of there.Here we cut our own grass,not a big deal.But there are problems with this place that have been this way since we moved in and I see no end in sight.I have brought up once buying this place from him,for a number of reasons that would be the best solution.He said not to count that out,but that was a couple of months ago.I would not mind doing these things on the weekends if it belonged to us,ya know.But if I am paying rent,shouldn't my landlord be responsible for the maintenace?
Sorry for the rant,just had to get that off my chest.Maybe now hubby and I will quit arguing about this all the time.(Yeah right)